Pakao!

From Ocean Park manchurian on Saturday to climaxing over a rooftop momos-and-pakoda dinner Sunday, dinner out Monday and Tuesday and cooking desserts Wednesday, this week's been an unexpectedly orgasmic culinary experience. No faking. Which leads me, inevitably, to this highly scientific bunch of insights on zodiac cooking.

Capricorn: Capricorns cook like cavemen, basic, wholesome, food that does the trick. With typical chauvinism, the men find it a novelty, but stick to salads (and thank God for that). 

Pisces: With their unending capacity to surprise, Pisceans put all they don't put in their relationships into the food they create. A Piscean cooking for you practically amounts to foreplay.

Aries: Aries cook like roadside vendors, exciting but not exotic, and stuff you'd always want to eat - though they rarely offer unless you're on the road with them. Rite of passage.

Taureans: Incredibly comforting sickbed food, Taureans really know how to cook like assistant chefs - chef food being arrogant and showy, assistant chef's food is always the actual best.

Gemini: How can I put this. Better left ordered in. They don't enjoy cooking except once in a rare while, and it shows.

Cancer: Ah, when Cancerians cook, they probably guilt the onion into crying. Food served by them is a martyred affair that quite kills any potential enjoyment from the food itself, much as they'd like to think they're good cooks.

Leo: I adore Leo cooking. It's such an unexpected thing for them to do well, and it's an immense high having a Leo deign to cook for you.

Virgo: Virgos all cook like mommies. It's the best food in the world and to a Virgo, what matters is that you enjoy their food, so you can pretty much call it the way you want it and slurp your way to their proud epiphany.

Libra: Librans cook like Gandhiji only, Dandi. And you'd better hope they don't accidentally knick themselves with the kitchen knife or that's the last you'll see of that meal.

Scorpio: Scorpios cook like they're being taped for some exclusive cooking show. Frankly, for us, the process ends when the food's served, not when we've burped over it.

Saggitarius: Very self-sufficient cooking. They cook like their bloody faces, like it or leave it, and usually, it's really tempting to just leave it 'cos it's stuff only they'd eat. 

PS: My mom's a Virgo and my brother's a Taurean. Plus, I live with a Leo :)