My Venn-Pongal Chakra-Mittai Boy <3

After forty-six appearances on my status message, I figured he deserved a blog post. Give it up for the African stringbean and the many profound things I inspire him to say!

'If you insist on spouting crap early in the morning, you'd do all a favour by going to the toilet.'

'Such is the cupid's handiwork, deplorable no?'

'A synopsis of a porn movie? Sure you can handle all the deviously concocted plot twists and turns?'

'You vent too articulately.'

Let's not forget that I'm capable of producing some mighty fine dialogues myself, inspired by him of course.

'Pretty please with sugar on top and an evil bitch thrown in.'

'You-u-u lurrrrrve me!'

'Life's a sexually transmitted disease, and some people are gross mutations. Yes, you.'

Of course, my favorite is what happens when we put him and me together.

Now be a good little girl and sleep tonight or Santa won't come a-visiting.

That dirty old man, I'll sit on his lap and he'll come alright.

 

Ei does your happiness lie in mine or not?

Not particularly not. Not even metaphorically.

Oh well. Suck balls.

Ah, but then you presume your happiness lies in my mouth.

And the counter-argument to that:

 My happiness just doesn't matter to you no.

Look. Who's. Typing.

Of COURSE your happiness doesn't matter to me, but what about my happiness huh?