The recent flurry of weddings among, oh, let's see, everyone on the PLANET, has brought to fore certain abhorrent tendencies I'm going to collectively call the Smugly-Married Symptoms. Please note the distinction – I’ve no issues with marriage, or even collective marriage, I’ve issues with certain manifestations which I’m putting down here to make sure no upcoming pair repeats.
Symptom 1: Premature Ejaculation/Come Come Come
So, you’re getting married. Whom do you invite? Friends, sure. Friends of friends, ohkay. The neighbour of a friend of a friend? Uhm. See a shrink, please.
Symptom 2: Say Puh-Leez
Hello exceptionally hairy bridegrooms: we don’t want to see ten thousand pictures of you getting your hair and makeup done. Really.
Symptom 3: Fevicol Ads
Do you maybe want to take a picture with your husband and put it up on your passport and pan card too? No? Then stop shoving it in my face on your display picture! You’re an INDIVIDUAL, Jesus.
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