- 'Babe' is a farm animal that poops and snorts and stopped being cute long before it was compared with Tamil Nadu's siren aunty Namitha.
- 'Sexy' is only a compliment if you know how to pronounce it. 'Sykasseee' is a Russian author with hay fever abandoned in the rice fields of some village in Andhra.
- How many waist sizes does it take to make a single person 'babes'? Or is it five Melloo drinks?
- Do you suppose they call girls 'chicks' 'cos they presume their eggs aren't fully fertilized?
- Is 'sweets' used when you're too lazy to complete the thought 'sweetheart'? (PS: I'm not sweet, singular; let alone sweets, plural. But thanks for the boost to my anorexic ego. I feel like twin-rosgullas now.)
- 'Hon' and 'sugar' are ingredients best left stewing in a Dolly Parton number. And they're about as genuine as her boobs: knockouts though they are, she's having an operation 'cos they're a literal pain in her ass.
- While honesty is remarkable and 'Bootyfull' certainly sums it up like nothing else can, I'm sure even Gandhiji didn't say to turn the other arse.
Uncals of the world unite and listen - we're not breakfast or poultry and if my name's THAT hard to say (full empathy, btw, I can't say it either), just sneeze and you'll have my undivided attention. And also the attention of the swine flu police but that's a risk every male takes when he's born into this chauvinist world.
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