Jitters

Okay, I know I've been married two weeks, but NOW is when the excited-panic mode really sets in. Today's it - my last day in my little one-bedroom place in Chennai and I'm freaaaaking out. I've no issues committing to one man over any other man - I'm sold on that idea. What's more unnerving is committing to one man over myself, and consciously acknowledging a farewell to a life that revolved around me. 

It's weird to have such a clear distinction between one phase of life and the next. Tomorrow, we move into the new house, with all our stuff. We get to shop for furniture, play House, and all of that good stuff. And once that ends... *hyperventilating* ... it means experimenting till we figure out routines and comfort zones that can work for us. 

It's largely exciting... I've lived alone long enough to have a general sense of grocery shopping and cooking and being domestic and all that. I'm just going through a huge bout of 'what-if' ness. You know. What if I never figure out what groceries to buy for a week ahead of time and have to keep running back (which is probably not as cute when your wife does it as opposed to your girlfriend). What if I invite his folks over and something is missing or doesn't taste right or <insert seemingly irrefutable catastrophe>? 

And see, the thing is, I know I have this a hell of a lot easier than most people. Not only do I have a job that lets me work from home, but also I only need to figure out one meal a day for a while. And it's dinner so I have all day to figure it out. And the mister insists on a maid cleaning the house and doing the clothes and dishes, which are luxuries I never allowed myself when I was living alone. I mean really, life could not get simpler. 

But, but, but, what if - despite having the perfect husband, the perfect job, and the perfect domestic scene - what if despite all this I still mess up or take longer to figure it out than I should? I'll have literally nothing to blame but my own ineptitude. Sigh. Okay, wish me luck.

PS: Yes, I really am this uncertain of myself... I only seem like an overconfident prick. It must be the cheekbones or the eyebrows or something.