Sckrewfel!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't want to call this 'Random' or 'Arbit' 'cos too many non-special people are calling albums/posts/things that, so I'm calling it Sckrewfel instead. You know. 'Cos no one else has called an album/post/thing that yet.

... Are you starting to understand why the 'special' in 'specially abled' probably refers to me? And also, yes I know Shakespeare said what's in a name, but I mean look at his name and the fact that he was bald.. he was probably just jealous and repressed and did you know it was Freud's birthday last weekend, which, combined with Mother's Day, is just really funny? 

Moving on. I'm high!!!! It's been a while. I've been busy obsessing and being all blah-Bridezilla-y and otherwisely blearghy... but now we're 17 days away and okay, so 17 isn't 10, or even 15, but zomfgwahyowly'all, it's SEVENTEEN. I'm so excited I just want to eat all the cheese in the world and then wash it all up with some fried potatos and end with three zillion pounds of ice cream. 'Cos isn't that how we all respond to excitement? No?

Man I'm making so much sense. And here's a heads-up: this is exactly how much (not!) sense I'm going to make for the next seventeen days, wooooot!!!! Also, just so you know, in case you were worried, all that omnomming's happening in my head. I'm still a ring size four. I checked. HOW AM I GOING TO FIT INTO MY ENGAGEMENT RING???? 

... Okay so backstory: when he proposed, my finger was a size 9 (which in itself is small in a finger size, but it's also my shoe size, and in a shoe size a nine is HUGE but that's not the point except to say that it's SUPER hard finding sexy heels for a frikkin Yeti-woman). By the time we got engaged, it was a 6. Two months ago, it was a 3. So honestly, I'm really proud of myself for even getting to a 4. What the hell kind of freak loses weight on their FINGER? 

This is my last official 'single' week in the city by the way. Tomorrow's my last ever Agarwal Roti dabbahwallah lunch. Sniffle sob. Can you tell that I keep track of everything? I mean EVERYTHING. We've already celebrated our last single monthiversary, the equinox point between the proposal and the marriage, between the engagement and the marriage, between the proposal and when the marriage was MEANT to be (June 29th, btw. Can you imagine my being this high for another MONTH? Hello, spontaneous combustion), the last day in his old 'bachelor pad,' the day I bought the last sari for the wedding (incidentally, 17 dresses for 3 days?? Wtf yo), and numerous other totally sckrewfel but supremely significant things.

WOW. It's all DONE. For REAL. OhmyGOD. 

PS: Dear Bachelorette-Thrower: I hope you see I really don't need alcohol in me. I'm quite.. Akx'y at the moment.