Lights, Camera, May I Be Excused?

TMI Time! Disclaimer: I know a lot of you know this story already, but my brain's not functioning, I'm on vacation man :) Here goes.

I was working backstage on the sets of a critically acclaimed play I won't name here to be on the safer side. Believe me - you've watched it or read it in some form or the other, even the most non-literary of you.

Anywho. There we were, waiting for the 50-second cycle gap that meant putting a (very authentic, may I add) cast on one of the cast (in the dark at that!) Backstage rushes the character, and a friend and I descend on him, bearing bandages and sundry pins, but no no no, our Cast-Bearer wants to urgently... erm, pee.

There's no loo in sight. There is however a bottle. And all we have is 50 seconds. Sooo. What can I say? His dick, the bottle, the cast, my friend, and I - all managed to find a room and, well, simultaneously accomplish our goals. Ah, show business.