Be Nice or Stay Away From Me

*Disclaimer: Doesn't apply to all men, just those with their dicks on their shoulders and nothing between their legs.*

Gentlemen. And I use the term so loosely a prostitute would blush. Listen closely: Dick. Head. I understand it's hard to tell the difference given the circumference of each is relatively similar in your case. Yes, I do get that neither of your 'heads' is bursting with an overflowing abundance of material from within. Nonetheless, if you can't tell which one to THINK with, I think it's perfectly justifiable summarizing you're a dickhead.

Now that we've established I'm more badass than the swine flu and infinitely more so than you swines, can we maybe stop annoying me with your wannabe I've-a-dick, I'm-so-macho act, and let my sunshine, happy endings, and whatever else I want stay wherever the fuck I want them?

If you don't believe in love, tell it to Oprah. If you're happy getting laid without love, stop talking, get back in bed. Finally, if you wanna be an asshole just because you can, you may want to talk to Barkha Dutt. These people are PAID to listen to your completely unoriginal unbelievably pointless manwhines. Me? Not so much. As Google would say, buzz off.