While every sworn bachelor's nemesis is a woman asking him to marry her, I've found three little words which can petrify even the most committed men silly - Be. My. Brother. Indian women, tortured over centuries with the threat of Sati and needing to demand that the ground open up and swallow them to prove their virtue, finally get their own back with this nifty invention that makes men voluntarily run towards the former two.
Honoring the timebound tradition with Rakshabandan coming up in August, I've been getting my daily yeehahaha's out of asking unsuspecting men out of the blue if they'll be my brother. Hey, a girl's got to have some fun.
Apart from causing any man to choke on what he's eating, forget what he was doing and actually be rendered speechless (helpful trick!), the question-threat has the added advantage of establishing platonicness in the manner of an iron-crested chastity belt. You should go out and try it today!
Afternote: Gentlemen. Please don't. Don't even ask girls if they want to be your sisters. Despite the nobility of the sentiment it just comes across as sounding like a potential hump temporarily positioned on the workbench.
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