The Marriage Series - I

"Do you sing?"

Each morning as I wake up and practically non-stop afterwards, I find dulcet rhythms chiming from within my very soul and myriad reasons to joyously burst forth into song. Don't we all? Life is a gay musical. Hit it baby. Paaaaaa-papa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Just a spoonful of sugar, makes the medicine go down...

I fail to understand though how this affects my childbearing skills or your culinary wellbeing. So. The only conceivable way in which this question is reasonable is if you were worried I'd burst into song without forewarning. In which case, well DONE you. We're gonna make the world's cleverest children.

Fucking Bees

Straight guys want to discuss women, lesbians want to discuss women - well duh. Straight women want to discuss women - little more obscure, but okay, you get it; we're bitchy. But when even your gay friends decide it's fun discussing women - well it just makes you realize maybe you need to spend some time praising some men for a change.

A friend and I tried our very coherent best to discuss guys today, we even set it down as an agenda item for conversation and everything. Then we realized the more we discussed them, the less interested we were in discussing anything, because you know what? It's frustrating and futile and downright depressing discussing that godforsaken sub-species and nothing good can ever come out of it.

You do them, and you're done with them. And yes, I'm pissed at someone specific and it's not all of mankind's fault. But that's not new is it? And this isn't therapy space to make anyone but me feel good right? So yeah, I will generalize and stereotype to great God's glory, thxbai and up life's.

Tag, I'm It.

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size… has expanded thanks to the weight gain. Lose weight, lose boobs. Tough call.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job… is going to make me very happy in a month.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving… people get the hell out of the way, or I help them find their way to hell.

4. I’ve come to realize that I hate… loud anything. I watch the TV at volume one. I hear 'normal' volume is 6. Argh.

5. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk… I'm a lot more sober than when I'm sober, usually.

6. I’ve come to realize that money… doesn't make for happiness, but it closely imitates it.

7. I’ve come to realize that certain people… should probably thank their lucky stars they're remembering to breathe in and out without choking, 'cos they're that dumb.

8. I’ve come to realize that my sibling… is braver than I am. But I'm trying.

9. I’ve come to realize that my mom… is my hero.

10. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone… should be given away before I lose it.

11. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning… I shouldn't have downloaded the alarm app that needed me to solve sums and anagrams before it would shut the hell up.

12. I’ve come to realize that my first love is… probably going to be redundant by the time I reach my last.

13. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking about… how I've done no work all day.

14. I’ve come to realize that my dad… is gonna make it very hard for me to find any man worth marrying after seeing his fine example.

15. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook… I stalkz. Heh.

16. I’ve come to realize that today… I really really want to hear from someone.

17. I’ve come to realize that my best friend(s)… give Naukri.com a SERIOUS run for their money. I love you guys ya!!

18. I’ve come to realize that my spouse… dot dot dot indeed.

19. I’ve come to realize that I really want to do… that thing I want to hear about.

20. I’ve come to realize that life… goes by easier when you're doing something instead of working at something.

21. I’ve come to realize that this weekend… will be full of kids, yay!!!

22. I’ve come to realize that next weekend… is when my mommy and Kavya are over, double yay!!

23. I’ve come to realize that my children… are going to get a stay-at-home mom, yay for the rest of my life!

24. I’ve come to realize that when life gives you lemons… you get out the tequila?