We went all the way

The husband's living it up in Vegas this week. I'm not quite as chilled out when he's not around (okay, understatement of the century), so within 24 hours of his leaving, I'd finished reading my book, worked overtime, cleaned the house, done the dishes, cooked and eaten 3 meals, run sundry other errands, and even caught up on my long pending email backlog. And it was still only 9pm. And I'd another 96 hours of unsupervised Duracell-bunny mode.

What to do, what to do. And that's how I found myself preparing for my doctor's checkup today like it was a super hot date. I pulled out all the stops. Which is a good thing because, after congratulating me on my blood work & angiogram, she said, oh so casually, "How bout a cervical, then?"

Now, I would never proactively suggest going down that road, but it seems downright stupid to refuse a test that can early detect cancer. Also, I've seen the movies with the fancy chairs, but real estate in downtown TO doesn't come cheap, and I was curious about how we'd manage the acrobatics of it all. 

She left me to 'change' (translate, strip, and pretend to preserve dignity with scraps of paper). I'd just laid back & artfully covered everything, when she let me know there was going to be foreplay, of the sitting up sort. So much for my modesty. 

After a brief visit to second base, while discussing the weather, she managed to position me at the very edge of the bed, which, it turns out, morphs into a chair with stirrups! I was all open mouthed wonder, as befits a pap-smear virgin.  

"Spread your knees and it'll be easier for both of us. Mm, very nice, that was easy, wasn't it? Just give me one minute. You're doing really well. There we go. I know that wasn't pleasant, but you were a trooper."

"Thanks. And hey, we don't have to do this again for another three years, right?" 

I'm definitely far from being a subtle date. But there's that cherry popped. And I definitely feel better about my health now. So go do it. If only because you'll have an amusing story to tell.